Progress not perfection

Weigh in on Saturday, but status reports on Thursday. I don't want to weigh in and then vent my emotions on the blog after the number pops up. I need time to process change -- good or bad. Besides, it's not about the scale; it's about the habits I am forming.

I noticed this last time I signed up for WW -- Day one of tracking was not exciting. It was resentful. I could already project myself gaining all the weight back. I saw it as a chore and a way to beat myself up for bad decisions. So this time, when I started to feel the negative feelings creep up on me, I had to remind myself that the only change in my life at that point was that I was writing down everything I was eating. That was it. I had already increased my water intake. I had already starting eating more vegetables because I signed up for two local garden programs. I had already starting a regular fitness routine, because I wanted to build my running stamina back up.

So what was my problem? I told myself to get over myself.

At the end of the day, after tracking everything I ate all day, I had two points remaining. Same with day two. I didn't confront any challenges until RK's birthday. We walked by the river -- 3 miles -- then came home to make pancakes. After dinner, I had a slice of homemade chocolate cake. I tracked it all. I dipped into my fitness and weeklies. I had a lovely night. No reason to beat myself up over it.

The main change I am seeing is I am already drinking less wine. I sat on the couch watching TV with hubs this week with a glass of red wine. I tracked it. I poured glass two. I tracked it. He asked if I wanted to keep watching TV and I declined. I said, "If I watch another, I'm going to pour another glass and next I'll be digging in the fridge for cheese." I went to bed.

It didn't feel like a denial. It was what it was. I recognized my pattern and I chose different.

I am less resentful, but I kind of missing the joy. I am purposefully holding myself back from setting crazy goals and challenges because it doesn't create long-lasting habits. Despite what IG might imply, creating a lasting lifestyle change is not a pep rally.

This week's goals:

• June 1 Fitness streak! I have been inspired by the other runners posting their running streak stats and I want to do that, too. I made a fitness calendar for June incorporating body weight exercises on lighter days -- something I never did when I race trained in the past. I am not training for any races, but I am not going to get faster unless I build up my muscles.

Moments of joy:

• I added fresh cherries to my post-fitness smoothie this week and it was delicious.

• I tried Celluce for this first time. Interesting. I sautéed it with onions and skillet potatoes and green beans. Topped it with an egg.